Zen and the art of toilet roll guilt. {a lesson in eco self-sabotage}

For as long as I can remember. At least the whole of my adult life, I’ve been an eco-warrior(ess).

From being an angry vegan or going on CND marches, to living in tipis and buying dusty lentils via a food cooperative.

I’ve been that girl who lived without plumbing, gas and electricity for years.

I’ve worn hemp and bamboo. Used only weird clay to wash my hair. Gathered meals from hedges. Boycotted shaving and supermarkets.

Being ‘uber green’ has been part of my identity for 20 years.

But there comes a point when no matter what you do, you’ll never be green enough.

 

You live in a tipi up a mountain? Pah, this dude lives in a cave and never even wears shoes.

You’re vegan? ha, I’m fruitarian!

You still buy from shops? Urgh, we make everything ourselves even our own furniture.

 

And so on. You get the picture.

Once I made the decision to become an entrepreneur and launch my own business, it became somewhat necessary to cast off some of this old lifestyle. For one thing I needed electricity to run my computer.

Fast forward a few years and here I am, a successful business woman living in a large country house and driving an actual planet-murdering car of all things.

But here is where things get funky.

I upgraded my toilet roll.

I’ve always bought recycled toilet roll.

But I never realised how rough it is compared to non-recycled, and after 20 years of ‘roughing it’ (pardon the pun) I want something soft and silky for a change.

I finally gave in and bought non-recycled toilet roll (from FSC managed forests) but I feel so guilty.

Considering that I buy tons of books (made from paper) and have wooden furniture (made from trees) – it seems crazy that I’m so fixated on toilet paper.

The fact of the matter is, do I not believe that I deserve better toilet roll? Should I be destined to forever use rough paper on my most sensitive body parts?

On the eco-scale, I’ve been pretty much off the charts compared to most Westerners – is it not time to just give myself a break and allow one little small non-eco luxury?

I believe so. I think it’s time I ditched some of my joy-sabotaging beliefs. I think it’s time I had soft toilet roll goddamit.

What’s your ‘toilet roll’ Achilles heel that is holding you back from experiencing the best in life?

xoxo Star Khechara

4 replies
  1. Lisa Cherry Beaumont
    Lisa Cherry Beaumont says:

    Oh God, how I resonate with this! Don’t buy anything you don’t absolutely need! Got a hole in your clothes? Sew it up! Just because it *looks* knackered, does it still work? Yes? Then don’t even consider getting a new one, you planet-wrecking, materialistic consumer! Now (after Denise’s Money bootcamp) I’m much more relaxed and if it doesn’t make me feel abundant it gets ditched to make way for a new one. Being in Southeast Asia is a toughie though because I feel guilty looking wealthy when I’m surrounded by so many people who have very little. Hmm. Still got work to do… 😉

    Reply
    • Star Khechara
      Star Khechara says:

      I’m in Thailand atm and yes there is a BIG divide between the rich and poor. I decided to not haggle when I buy my fruit and coconuts from the roadside stands. I am already getting that at amazing bargains compared to the uk – so if I am being ‘ripped off’ over a few pennies that might actually allow someone to put their kids through college – so be it!

      Reply

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